School is a socially interactive environment. Most children have twenty-nine other people to get along with in their class alone, not to mention all the children they come across in the playground. Schools encourage and promote social development as essential to community living.
Children need to learn to respect other children’s needs and feelings and to be able to share and co-operate with others. They must learn to take turns when playing with games and with equipment. It is important for the child to understand that someone else may have a different point of view from themselves and that this is not only acceptable but has to be tolerated.
Children need to develop a real understanding and empathy with other people’s feelings. This involves being aware of their own feelings and being able to describe them so they can articulate their own needs and consequently also be able to put themselves in someone else’s shoes. Children also have to learn to manage the frustration that comes when people do not do what they want!
In the infant school there will probably be a ‘home corner’ where children can exercise their imaginations and role-play cooperatively with one another. The school will provide simple board games and a range of toys the children can play with such as a train set, car track, farm, dolls house or construction toys. Children move from playing alongside one another to playing together, they learn to take turns, and this is a natural part of their development.
Children in school are constantly being given opportunities to work at tasks together and to share ideas. Staff will work with small groups of children on a shared activity to encourage and promote this sharing of ideas and task completion. As children get older, they will be encouraged to work co-operatively in table groups discussing ideas. They will often have the opportunity to work in pairs to carry out research or complete a task. This might involve working on a computer or planning a piece of work together.
Many schools have developed a technique called ‘Circle Time’ when a whole group of children sit in a circle sharing thoughts and feelings regarding a particular topic. For example: I feel happy when . . .’ or ‘I feel sad when . . .’ Children learn that we all share a range of reactions and feelings to the same kinds of situations. They also have an opportunity to be listened to, and this raises their self-esteem and a belief that they do have important things to say.
On the sports field, older children will begin to learn to play team games. They start to realise that victory lies in the cooperation of the whole team rather than the skill of the individual player. If a goal is to be scored, then the ball must be passed rather than held by one person.
The school playground is a place where children can really suffer if they have poor social skills. A reluctance or inability to play with other youngsters can mean isolation and loneliness. Some children will become very frustrated and physically aggressive because they have not learned to control their impulses when others upset them or don’t do what they want them to do.
Children who are successful at friendships are co-operative, supportive, and able not only to articulate their own needs, but to understand others’ needs. They are usually full of ideas or able to take up other people’s ideas. They have a strong concept of interaction and engagement.
Schools should support children who are struggling with social interactions and see it as a lack of skill rather than children being introverted or badly behaved. Children can learn to interact more effectively, even if it doesn’t come very naturally to them in the first place. Sometimes, children need to practise strategies to enable them to join in games, or have some gentle feedback on their bossiness or physical aggression which makes their peer group not want to play.
Good schools will set up good.playground practice to encourage children to play successfully with one another. This might include having a wide range of objects such as balls, hoops, skipping ropes and bats which children can play games with. Some schools offer training to midday supervisors to be ‘play leaders’ helping children to develop constructive games and keep to the rules. Some develop ‘quiet areas’ where children can read, play games or chat, to accommodate children who are not so keen on rushing around constantly.
Some schools will have a ‘can’t say, won’t play’ rule, or have a bench in the playground where children who want to play with someone can sit and a little supportive group of older children will pick them up and start a game. This can encourage children to notice if someone is isolated or left out, and to empathise with how that might feel. The school can encourage an ethos of good social interaction.
Tags: social skills